Wednesday, July 30, 2008

What is it with earthquakes?

I think they know when I start a new job. There was an earthquake on my first day of work in an office when I got my first "real" job. Yesterday there was an earthquake on my second day of my first "real" job in 7 years. I think I'm never going to start a new job again or I'll have to skip the third day of work just to be safe! Actually what I think might be even more odd than the fact that there's the connection to starting a new job (I mean geez I knew this was earth shattering news but come on!!!) is the fact that I had just talked about earthquakes with Brian the night before. I asked him if he had ever been on the phone with someone who was about 20 minutes away during an earthquake. He hadn't but I have - and it's interesting. If you hear someone else go through it and know it's coming it sort of takes the edge off of it. At least it does for me. I wasn't on the phone when it happened but it just struck me as odd that probably 12 hours later we had one.
Anyway - I'm off to work... no aftershocks today please! I'm on the second floor - talk about feeling the earth move.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Day One...

Of my new REAL job - I'm LOVING life!!! I'm looking forward to mastering the basics so that I can start learning more than they require of me. I found out that they will pay for me to go to school if I want to take courses that relate to the job. Oh, and not just for the classes but the books too!
There are a lot of little details to learn. For instance, one person does not get voicemail - ever! So I have to remember to take written messages for them. Several others get all their calls screened but others I can just transfer directly. There is some very specific language they want me to use that isn't necessarily first nature but I'll get that down soon I'm sure. That kind of thing I had to do at the diner so it's really not any different here - just a different script.
I learned how to process the mail, and log medical records... there is a lot involved with that but it will be second nature in about a half a second - I got it all done myself today (while they trained me) even though it was my first day. I know there is a lot more to learn but I'm not worried about it at all now... just super excited!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Drumroll Please....

Tonight is my last night at Richie's Diner, because I got a JOB yesterday! I was hired as a receptionist for a law firm. I am incredibly excited to get started on Monday. It seems, from my understanding of the position, that there will be enough variety to keep things very interesting. The position requires significantly more than just answering phones which is GREAT! I am full of nervous excitement to start learning the job. The newness of soaking in tons of information and then putting it into use will be good for me. I haven't had an opportunity to challenge my brain in a while. Making 8 shakes at the same time might be the epitome of multitasking but it was definitely not challenging my mind. Now I can start exercising my brain instead of my ice-cream scooping right arm - you should see the crazy muscle I have from that!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Fun Stuff...

The kids went to their dad's last night because he hadn't really seen them much over the weekend. He had some time off work and asked if he could take them last night. So they went. I got a call around 8:45 from Ella buzzing with excitement. They had gone to their dad's church for VBS. (I'm guessing that means some churches do VBS in the evening?) She had so much fun. She was begging to go back again, and could they please stay at dad's an extra night. She asks me what I'm doing. I tell her I went to church. She asks about ten times who I'm with and if I'm ok because she's worried that I'm lonely. I tell her I'm fine, and with friends (never mind that little 's' on the end because at that precise moment I was just with Brian - but we'd been with friends at church) and she starts asking who, what, when, why, where, etc. I think she's missed the "you're the kid memo" so I tell her that I'm ok, I'm having fun and she doesn't need to worry about me. All the while skillfully avoiding answering the "WHO" question. Then she puts her dad on the phone. He says he's off work on Thursday and asks if the kids can stay. I can't really think of a reason to say no so I say ok.
So as it turns out I am on my own today. I have to exchange a bathing suit that I bought for Abby that was too small. Then I think I'm going to steal Brian and go for a hike. I'm going to try to remember to bring my actual camera - as opposed to being stuck with my crappy camera phone. If I remember, and if I get any decent pictures I'll post them.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

This has really got to stop...

I cried last night. Yeah I know crying is ok... even good... at times like this. Unfortunately my body doesn't exactly agree. I'm not sure if it's possible to be allergic to ones own tears but when I cry, especially at night, I wake up with eyelids that are a half an inch thick. That might sound like an exaggeration and well it might be a slight one but honestly I look like I have a disease. I took a picture (with my crappy camera phone) about two hours after I woke up - and after ice packs and eye drops by the gallon. The swelling had started to go down but they were still really swollen. I don't think the picture does justice to how gross my eye really looked but I'll post it anyway... thats as far as I could open my eye and even opening it that far was painful. Oh, and that's the good eye... I couldn't keep the other one open long enough to take a picture! Cute huh?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Beach day...

We do it once a year whether we need it or not. Actually our friends have a birthday party for their daughter at the beach every year. We always go and it is usually the only beach trip we make in a year. I hate sand and I don't like cold salty water. Then there's the overprotective mom side of me... and in my mind the ocean plus four kids is a frightening combination. I always enjoy this trip though. Good food and good friends makes for a great day. Up until last year our arrival at the beach was accompanied by the "we're not staying very long" speech because the former hated going... well... pretty much anywhere. Last year I went as a single mom for the first time but I left the little one with my parents because the idea of me on my own watching four kids was too much. This year I couldn't really count on having my parents watch Sophia - plus I knew she was old enough to really enjoy the time with her friends so I decided we would all go. Then I started thinking that it would be nice to have an extra set of eyes. So I asked Brian to come.
It was cool because he got to meet a bunch of my friends. It was nice too that I didn't have to worry quite so much about the fact that I couldn't be at the fire pit and on the water at the same time.
We all had a blast! It was 9:30p.m. before we left the beach, bundled in sandy towels and carrying a sleeping Sophia. It was tons of fun!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

When you ask "how are you?" do you want the truth?

It's an interesting thing that I think most of us do... we ask "how are you?" as if it is a form of "hello." The downside of that is the fact that, when life is crap for the person to whom you pose the question, it leaves the person asked in a bit of a quandary. Do you want the truth? If so, I can't even type the answer here - because I don't know who's reading this - but it would be a string of four letter words for sure. On the other hand I could give the standard response "fine" but that's a lie... of insane proportions.
I keep wondering when I'll feel like life is "fine" again... how long does it take to get from hell back to somewhere that even vaguely resembles fine?
Then there's this... I think there's a part of me that's afraid to ever be fine again.... because in my experience "fine" doesn't seem to last very long. I'm tempted to list the crap that we've been through as a family in the last few years but I won't because, to be honest, even the most horrific things we've been through up to this point seem like a party compared to the horror of missing Karissa.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

sometimes music helps... sometimes it just makes me cry... you pick

One More Day

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the TV off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do, with one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day

By: Diamond Rio


does a parent live through the loss of a child? My sister in law Adrianne and brother Mark have long been my parenting heroes. They tirelessly cared for their beautiful special needs daughter Karissa through countless seizures, insane meal requirements, not to mention the energy of at least four of my kids. They are the perfect parents for her. They never rested from their efforts to give her the best chance at a healthy full life.
Yesterday, after only 3 short years with us, Karissa went to be with Jesus. I can't describe the pain I feel. I can't express how sad my kids were when I told them that their cousin had died. Most of all I can't even begin to wrap my brain around the pain Mark and Adrianne are feeling and the Grand Canyon sized hole that has been left in their hearts.
I think, in the case of our family, if we didn't have a HOPE then we would never be able to get through this pain. We cling to the thoughts of Karissa in heaven, seizure free, running without falling, and perfectly able to express everything she could not express to us in her earthly body... all of that, and doing "tickle arms" with Jesus.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Family night... is this better?

Tonight I'm working on creating a slightly more impressive "family night." So instead of a drive thru Taco Bell and Mary Poppins... We did Pizza. The kids have been BEGGING to stay up late to watch the newest episode of "Clean House: The Messiest Home in America." So I figured, what's a movie (or a much anticipated TV show) without popcorn? I picked up popcorn and then had a great idea! S'mores! Now I pretty much think that s'mores are the greatest delicacy of summer. Never mind that the best way to make them is to roast the marshmallows over an open fire pit at the beach. I settled for roasting them over an open flame on my range top. In any event they were a hit. Now we're waiting on our show to start and probably some popcorn too. Only downside as I can see it is that I think the kids are taking this clean house thing as a challenge to make ours the messiest home in America.