Thursday, February 28, 2008

Am I expecting too much?

If I think that it is common decency that I be informed as to the time the ex plans to pick up the kids on Thursday mornings? Is it too much to ask that he let me know if he's going to bring them back late?

To me it seems like general courtesy to set a schedule and be prompt. I guess I'm just unreasonable though. I sent a message and called to see if I could find out if he was coming early (before 9 a.m.) because he often does. I needed to take a shower though and was waiting around on him. He didn't respond. So I told the kids that if he came while I was in the shower to let me know and I'd be there as soon as I could but not to leave till I was out. It seemed like a safety issue to me... I don't think I should get out of the shower and not be absolutely certain about where the kids are.

Then there's the fact that they are supposed to be home at noon. When they still weren't back at 12:35 p.m. I called and asked what was up. He tells me they are eating and will be back soon... and hangs up on me. Isn't he lovely?!

So they finally show up at almost 1 p.m. and when I send the kids inside I tell him that I would appreciate it if he could communicate with me about when he would be picking up and dropping off the kids so that I can plan my life accordingly. So he tells me "the world doesn't revolve around you Elissa, and nothing in the court papers says 9-noon so I don't have to do anything." Um, yeah dumbass... nothing in the court papers gives you anything at all remember?! (don't worry, that part was my own internal dialogue - I didn't say it out loud!) Anyway, the reality is he has no custody or visitation. He doesn't have any court ordered right to anything so I would think he would try to be cooperative! But then there I go trying to use logic where none exists... and as I well know, that never works!

Oh, and by the way he didn't bring me a check for the support he is supposed to pay... something about having lost the checkbook again...amazing!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Work didn't suck tonight...

Because for the first time ever I got to actually wait tables. Now I've expo'd and I've helped out before but this was the first time I had tables from drink order to bill. They needed someone to take stations while the servers assigned to them took their breaks. I got nominated. I was great... and I had tons of fun! I only made a couple of small mistakes and those were mostly not things the customers noticed just things the restaurant expects that I didn't know about. I waited on 5 tables in total - though to be fair one was my family because today is Sophia's 3rd birthday. I only got tips from 3 of the tables because I was technically breaking other servers and one of them kept "his" tips... but whatever. I made $17 off of 3 tables and it was EASY! Not to mention fun! I really need to be serving full time! So the manager said she was going to recommend that I get promoted... have I heard that before... a few times?! I'm hoping this time it's for real. If not though I'm ready to go apply at other restaurants. Here's hoping I can start serving consistently in the next month or so if not at this restaurant perhaps another one!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Great neighbors and the cost of living...

Yesterday I got into it with the "former" in my front yard. For various reasons including the fact that he chooses to travel with our youngest two in the car with no car seats, his lack of ability to pay child/spousal support partnered with the fact that "they" just bought a new suburban, and the fact that he is encouraging the kids in their complaints that I don't spend enough time with them... because I work too much. He actually told me I am making them upset because I'm working too much. So I asked him how he could possibly think it's a good idea to allow them to think that I am not taking good care of them because I work. I asked him why, when they tell him that I don't spend enough time with them because I'm working too much, doesn't he tell them that I spend lots of time with them but I have to work. He can acknowledge that it's hard to miss me without encouraging them to think I'm neglecting them. I told him that he doesn't support my parenting. Then I said something that probably wasn't nice but you know what? I don't care... I asked him why he didn't tell them that I HAVE to work because he made bad choices. Since that's the truth... I reminded him that I never worked away from the kids a day in their lives until he decided to change everything... so why, when they are sad and missing me because I am working, couldn't he take responsibility for being the cause! That didn't go over well but this is the price we pay for his life choices. Anyway he wasn't very happy about it!

When I came inside one of my neighbors, Tony, called. I answered and he said "is everything ok? Charlotte (his wife) called me and said I needed to check on you. I'm not at home but I wanted to make sure you were ok." I told him I was fine and thanked him for checking. A few hours later my neighbor from the other side came by with a pile of clothes for the baby... and to ask if everything was ok because she had seen Drew here earlier... and he looked mad. I'm actually getting a little worried because if he is mad right now, it's about to get REALLY ugly! Details on that as soon as I can give them, but I'm starting to think I might need to hide out somewhere safe for a while... seriously.

Friday, February 15, 2008

How many things can irritate a 4 year old?

The answer... there is no limit. Abby must either be tired beyond words or completely lacking in any coping skills whatsoever! Good grief! It's 10:30 in the morning and she has been sent back to bed at least 3 times because she can't seem to keep herself in check. I think it's naptime... and Abby could probably use a nap too!

I think I'm about to have some good news

but I can't really blog about it yet. The bottom line is my life is about to get much easier from a financial perspective! I'll update with more info when I can actually spell it all out, which hopefully will be soon. I think I might need to celebrate again - anyone up for a hot fudge brownie sundae?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Check that off the list...kind of.

I have wanted, for as long as I can remember, to visit a church that is not like what I'm used to in many ways. Specifically a church where I don't look like everyone else in the room. There are probably 20 reasons why I've wanted to do this, maybe more, but I'd just never gotten around to it. One of the biggest reasons I had never visited a church like that is the fact that I didn't want to go alone but I didn't know anyone who attended one that I could go with. Among my reasons for wanting to go are that I wanted to experience the music, the preaching style and the responsiveness of people. In my church I probably move more than 90% of the people in the room during the music... and I hardly move. During the sermon I respond out loud more than most and that occurs about once or twice a month - if I'm feeling really outgoing. I love the pastors in my church and am effected by the sermons they give but I don't think I've ever showed up in church and had any question but that the entire sermon was given near verbatim from the notes they had prepared in the weeks before. None of that is bad but I have really wanted to experience how other people do things.
So the one in 1500 (see my PSA to my single friends) attends a church like the ones I've always wanted to visit. He invited me to go with him on Sunday and I went. First of all church started at 11 but we were late... very late. We arrived at 11:45 and they were still singing, and loudly! We parked across the street and I could hear the music before I opened my car door. The pastor started his sermon about noon and I have to say I have never (even in the most heated fire and brimstone sermon in the Nazarene church of my childhood) heard a pastor speak so passionately. I'm sure he had an idea about what he intended to say but I don't think there is any chance he had the whole thing written out before he started. Oh and they don't hand out the sermon outline, with neat little blanks to fill out, as you walk in the door. People spoke to the pastor during the sermon. Anytime he made a point that resonated with an individual personally they commented - out loud! Numbers of people in the room would stand up and literally cheer at points meaningful to them. The sermon ended around one and then the music started again. The music and accompanying alter call lasted until 1:30. As soon as church ended I was greeted by probably dozens of people - admittedly in part because the church ladies wanted to know who this girl was that Brian brought to church - but still. I was asked if I'd be joining, or if I'd be back, and if I'd be interested in helping with this ministry or that, by a handful of people at least. It was an amazing experience and I can't wait to go back. It opened up huge discussions about spiritual maturity, and the differences between our churches among other things. Probably one of the most interesting things was that the pastor twice used scriptures in his sermon that my pastor had used in the week or two before at my church.
The message was sound, the music was amazing, the people inviting, and I am looking forward to visiting again... but not before I show him The Grove!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Wanna hear something funny?

After I tell you this the saga of the creepy manager will be over for good... Last week at work one of the managers pulled me aside to tell me that el creepo is no longer working for my restaurant. He proceeded to tell me it ended up being a mutual decision because creepo had found other work. He told me that when they confronted him with what I had said he insisted that I had called HIM!!! Of course I told the manager that wasn't the case, but it really bothered me for the rest of that day! What is so funny to me, that I didn't think to mention it until after the chat ended is, how would I call a manager at home if he hadn't first given me his phone number? For the record he didn't give me his number to begin with so there isn't even a possibility that I could have called him. Anyway it just made me realize how dumb people can be when they get caught and don't want to fess up to their mistakes. At the end of the day my integrity is intact... his, not so much!

Saturday, February 9, 2008

10 Facts about Elissa

The Rules Are: Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 10 people to be tagged to write about 10 random things about themselves. Ha ha ha, this can be amusing...

1. This is not weird or random to anyone who knows me but judging by the looks (and sometimes comments) I get it is weird and random to much of the population... I'm a single mom of four. In fact many people have asked me if I know how it happens... so I can prevent it. I must look really stupid or something! Imagine the looks I get when I tell them I also homeschool!

2. I LOVE my minimum wage job. Especially now that I don't have a manager chasing me around the restaurant constantly and calling me at home!

3. I am addicted to my computer. If I am home, and awake, I am more than likely online. So if my myspace online now icon isn't blinking or I'm not on Yahoo or Gmail chat then I'm probably out of the house or asleep.

4. It is really hard to answer these without stealing the answers of the person before you - at least on some level... but hey Christina, I love to sing too. In fact I sing in the car and it's like meditation. I can tune out the entire world. Oh, and I sing through my shifts at work too!

5. I rarely get mad or stay mad about anything. If I'm mad about something for half a day it must be catastrophic, and I still won't remember what it was by tomorrow.

6. The exception to #5 makes #4 critically important... I have a killer case of road rage! Now, I won't express my rage in a way that you can see... but if you are riding with me you will hear it. I have to hold my breath or sing really loud when my kids are in the car so I don't actually say what I'm thinking!

7. I am contemplating going back to school to become a paralegal, but I also want to get my POST certification for dispatch so that I can eventually get a job answering 911 calls.

8. I am more than content living with very little financially - so when my girlfriends tell me I should go find a rich man to marry next time, I look insane when I tell them I'd rather be poor and well loved than have money and things.

9. I actually enjoyed the legal process of getting divorced. I loved being on the court website watching for the progress of my documents, and going in to the court myself to file paperwork.

10. I have some OCD tendencies... but I've always wished they gave me intense urges to clean my house instead of count, and create patterns.

Here is where I'm supposed to tag 10 people...
Can I Just Say...
My "WaCkY and CrAzY" life!
Relaxing in the Library
The Resolve Note
Rev Rock
except I ran out of bloggers who Christina didn't already tag... so I only tagged 7 and frankly - I read theirs (when they blog - Wacky & Crazy you need some help) but I don't actually know if they read mine anyway... so this whole thing could fall apart right here.

As a side note - if this post is full of spelling errors it is because the spell check button on blogger isn't working - it drives me crazy but I don't feel like cutting and pasting into a document to spell check this post so... deal with it! :)

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Guess What?!?!?!

Our plans got approved...finally!!! WOO HOO. Ok so I say "finally" but I have heard that our process was quick compared to most. Plus if we had gotten that original corrections notice that never got sent we would have been at this point a month and a half ago! We will be able to pick up our permit - the coveted "yellow card" as my parents keep refering to it - tomorrow. The trailer that has graced my driveway for the last 14 months or so will be relocated to it's new home which is lovingly known as "the property" or "our dirt." I am super excited that this day has finally arrived except that excitement has been quickly tempered with the realization that this is the beginning of another LONG process... the construction. I'm excited now to start seeing progress on our land. Ok and to be really honest I just can't wait till the day it's done and I can take a bath in my two seater tub complete with jets... that is my one non negotiable. I don't care if the kitchen counters are marble, corian or cement. I don't care what wood my dad uses for the floor. The bathroom fixtures, light fixtures none of that matters much - I guess good quality but cheap is my goal...but the tub is my one big thing! If all goes as planned we will spend next Christmas at the new house. I can't wait to have a party there!

Monday, February 4, 2008


I watched it. The whole thing. For the first time I can remember - ever. Now I must say I didn't know who was playing before it started, and frankly even though I knew for a moment I have already forgotten which teams played. The commercials were sometimes funny... and sometimes not. I was most grateful that Tom Petty didn't have a wardrobe malfunction!!! I don't really understand football very well and that's ok with me. What I did learn is that my friend has an apparently foolproof plan for how to get your team to win... Root for the wrong team. I guess it worked because the team he said we were rooting for lost, and he was happy about it. Is that as crazy to you as it is to me? I'd rather watch the Lakers play any day!