Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Friends...and some craziness

I have this friend who always asks for my advice, presumably because she respects my opinion. Here's the thing...I often tell her how wrong she is for being so self centered, that she doesn't consider another's viewpoint when she judges a situation, or that her choices are not God's best for her. I'm hard on her, but only because I love her. Here is the part that gets to me...she calls for my advice, and then, rarely (if ever) actually follows any of it. I can't figure it out. It isn't as if I'm stroking her ego when she calls so she obviously isn't calling to hear how perfectly wonderful she is. She doesn't talk to me like she is just informing me of something. She calls specifically for advice, or to get my opinion. Why would you continue to seek advice from someone who's advice you never take? Why would you continue to seek straight talk that often isn't flattering to you if you don't value the opinion? I am just so perplexed by the whole thing. I think if I were calling someone for advice and I never valued their position enough to actually follow it and if, on top of that, they were hard on me for many of the choices I make in life, I would probably stop calling. I'm glad she doesn't. I hope someday something I say will make a difference in how she sees the world.

The last conversation I had with her was about how she cut off this guy from her life because he didn't want to talk to her on the phone - he preferred to text that day instead. She was beyond irritated that he didn't care that she couldn't text at that moment (she was driving - at least she realized that would be a bad idea!). She then tells me he didn't feel like talking because he had just been in an interview for four hours. Ok, after a four hour interview I wouldn't talk to her either...guess it's good she didn't call me after a four hour interview - cuz I'd be cut off now too. She went on and on about how self centered he was for not caring about her enough to talk to her when she needed him to. I asked how self centered she was for not caring that he was all talked out and was too tired to talk. I asked her if she would rather someone feign interest while totally ignoring her or honestly tell her that they were too overwhelmed for a meaningful chat. Apparently her answer is clear as she took his number out of her phone!!! I guess I know what I'll do the next time she calls and I'm overwhelmed with my life...that conversation will look like this from my end: "hi" "uh-huh" "yeah" "sure" (repeat) oh, wait but I already said "hi" so skip that in the repeat!
Is it just me or is the whole thing beyond ridiculous? I just hope I'm a good enough friend to the people I care about that none of them ever feel like they can't tell me they're having a bad day and don't feel like talking!
Since I'm blogging about friends I have one that deserves a mention (even if not by name). How cute is this: I have a friend who's family lives out of the area. Her parents are coming to visit and bringing her grandma from Texas to visit her in Riverside. She calls me this morning and asks if I might be available to come (with my kids of course) and meet her granny. I don't know about you but there aren't many people I know who would call me up and ask me to plan a special visit so I could meet their grandma! I thought it was cool. I love my friends - the "come meet my grandma" ones and the "I want your advice so I can promptly ignore it" ones and all those in between! Isn't that variety what makes it all interesting? Ok or maybe I just get a kick out of watching how people tick!

Monday, July 30, 2007


Okay...I did it...and it wasn't so bad!

So I've been told that since I blog on myspace so much I should join the "real" bloggers here. So I did...are you happy now?

I'm not sure that anyone really cares to read about my life and the ramblings of a crazy single mom of four but I guess I'm reading the blogs of a bunch of people who's lives, on the face of it, don't seem terribly interesting either...yet I love to read about theirs. So if you're inclined to read about me fumbling my way thru this life I am living then welcome to it!

I'm a newly single mom to my four great kids and I love my life. Now I might love it just a bit more if someday down the road God had in mind to bring a great guy into my life who's list of what he's looking for in a mate goes something like this:
Mom to a bunch of crazy kids
Body which bears the wounds of having said litter of kids (do we call it "curvy"?)

In the meantime I'm content to hang out with my kids, watch them grow, and hopefully by the grace of God parent them well enough on my own to prevent them from falling into the statistics of children from "broken" homes...which lead me to this thought...Is a home only "broken" if the parents divorce? Cuz I'm pretty freaking sure ours was broken to begin with. I don't think broken is what happens when the divorce occurs...I think broken is what happened that brought it to that point. In which case...divorce or not...my kids were living in a "broken" home...Wow that kinda sucks huh!?!?

Ok so I'm going to try to post some pics...for fun and to see if I can figure this thing out...If it works you'll see pics of my kids (and me) at a wedding for my cousin in Redding, Ca on Friday, July 27th and the pre wedding stuff on the 26th. Now if any of us are smiling it is truly a miracle of God because in order to get to the wedding we drove. Then we drove, then we drove some more. Thirteen hours one way with stops - I have four kids remember - one of whom is just potty trained so "hold it" isn't really working for her yet! We were all crammed in my '93 Mercury Villager minivan with all of our luggage, special blankies etc, etc, etc...oh, and did I mention that my parents were with us? So this brings us to a total of 7 people in a 7 passenger vehicle with luggage for 7 people...oh, and a potty chair for good measure cuz what else are you going to do when there are 35 miles between you and the nearest toilet and the two year old has to pee?

So here we go...we'll see if it works.