Sunday, August 31, 2008

Funeral boycott

Obviously my "opt out" form idea didn't work since I never did locate the necessary paperwork so now I have a new plan. If you want me to come to your funeral you better not die any time soon. I can't keep tragedy from happening but whether or not I go to a funeral is something I can control. So I think I'm boycotting the next funeral that comes up. That said if the food is gonna be good I might still come to the after party.
Oh, and if somehow it's mine - I'm still not going! You all better throw a big party, eat some good food, and have a few drinks. While you're at it maybe you could ditch your filter and say things that will make my brother have to "go to the bathroom" or something out of embarrassment. I don't know but I do know that I'm done with funerals for a while.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

These are strange feelings...

My father in law of 12 years, Alfred Soto Gonzales Jr., died today. The announcement came with a text from my ex at 6:04 this evening that said "He is all better." I knew that must mean he was gone but somehow I felt compelled to text back and ask the question anyway.
It is an interesting loss for me. I was not particularly close to the man who's life was punctuated by drug use and abuse of his family for the vast majority of the time I knew him. He was, in spite of those negative qualities, an amazingly talented man. He could play the harmonica insanely well. It was not an instrument I ever would have thought to appreciate so much before I heard him play. I'll never hear a harmonica again with out thinking of him... well him and Grandpa Bob Guier. To be fair he could also be incredibly sweet. He rarely called me by my name, most often he called me "baby."
Life changed for Al when he chose to follow Christ several years ago. His life changed drastically. His face had a softness I hadn't ever seen in him before. It wasn't a change that was permanent and easy. He struggled, and failed, but in the end he claimed faith in Christ.
The last conversation I had with him was just before Father's Day in June of this year. Prior to that I hadn't spoken with him since the night Drew and I split and on that night he was spewing hatred and venom at me. In our last conversation though, he told me he was sorry, and that he loved me. I told him I loved him too.
I made plans to go visit him last week but he didn't want visitors in the hospital, so I told the family to let him know that I'd come see him when he was home. I didn't get the chance.
This loss is not as hard for me personally as the loss of Karissa, not even close. It is breaking my heart though to know that, in the morning when their dad tells them, my kids hearts will break one more time. They are going to grow up to be the most resilient people on the planet for all the heartbreak they have endured in the last few years. I think my kids are my heroes.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

What happens when I leave my computer in my parents car... a horror story!

I quit watching TV almost completely. It's been forever since I watched television at all, much less on any sort of regular basis. Now, don't think I'm amazing or anything, I basically just replaced the TV with my laptop. So imagine my absolute dismay when I realized that I had left my beloved laptop in the trunk of my parents car last night!
The problem is that I trade cars with my mom every morning at work so she has the van with the kids. I decided to bring my computer because I can hang out online when I eat lunch alone at Panera, which I planned on doing yesterday. Well, not only did I not eat lunch alone at Panera, which then meant that bringing my computer to begin with was a wasted effort, but then I forgot to get it when we switched cars back at the end of the day. ARGH!
In my boredom I gave myself a pedicure last night. Then I did the unthinkable... I turned on the TV! I watched two of the US divers take a leap off an insanely tall platform and flipped through the channels a few times before I was tired of it and turned it back off.
Tonight we went to dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory or as Sophia calls it the Owd Skabetti Factowee. That place is beautiful! We (I say in the "corporate" sense, since the "we" who paid was named Dad) paid for two adult meals and got four kids dinners free because we brought in a list of 5 books that each of the kids had read. My dad laughed that it cost less to eat there than it would have to buy us all In N Out. I'm stuffed and I have leftovers for lunch tomorrow.
Oh, and one more bit of good news - this oh so exciting post was brought to you via my laptop - which I remembered to bring home today!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Just a couple more


This is Brian again on that tree... do you see how big it is?


This ant - which if you can't tell is GIANT - and his other Goliath like pals did this:

to the tree... Yeah, I stayed with the rodent sized ants... and I thought I was playing it "safe!"

I promised pictures


This is where I start the hike... and yes I use it.


The view on the way up...


This used to be a HUGE waterfall. The first few times we hiked here there was a giant bank of snow extending from just left of the waterfall in this picture. It has melted and the volume of water is less the farther we get from winter but I know it will be full again next year!


Believe it or not this is the view from right next to those porta potties!


If a tree falls in the mountain... Brian is standing on a tree that has fallen across a stream. He walked across it... I took pictures and stayed on solid ground! I would say I stayed where it was "safe" but I'll post a picture in another blog that could prove otherwise!

I'm feeling a little bit of a blog drought

I can't seem to come up with any exciting or, to be really honest, even vaguely interesting blog topics lately. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I'm not with my kids as much and therefore have way less opportunity for funny stuff to happen.
Some random stuff:
I went out to the property last night. Had dinner in the trailer with the fam... 4 kids, mom, dad and me at a table smaller than a standard four seater restaurant booth. Good times! Pretty exciting progress is being made on the house. The walls have been framed to the floor level and dad said we might have some of the floor done in the next week. Not like actual inside residential flooring but what I think is called "sub" floor. Then the walls of the house will start to be framed!
Another thing, a while back I went on a hike. I took a bunch of pictures... I don't know if any of them are good but I'm uploading them as I type this and I'll post a few like I said I would forever ago.
Lately I'm tired a lot and can't figure out how I'm supposed to balance this whole full time working mom gig. For the moment my normally messy house has become my downright filthy house. Too bad I don't make enough to hire someone to clean it...

Saturday, August 9, 2008

I think I know how this thing works...

I got caught in a swirl of drama at work because... something dreadful happened... the postage meter ran out - or at least ran low enough that we couldn't finish processing the mail. This really is a pretty major problem. It's also one that the person in my position is supposed to have prevented. Never mind that the prevention should have started about the day I did and I wasn't really up on all the requirements of the job on that day. Anyhow, I managed to figure it out and correct course before the world exploded... which is to say I made a phone call and got the nice folks who make our meter to tell me how to load money onto it.
I think though I learned another, probably even more important, lesson. In my job, the MOST critical task I face is to anticipate EVERY problem and avert the crisis BEFORE the office administrator is aware it existed. In short... I'm going to learn to read minds and run interference. Did you know how much I love that kind of thing?
On the personal side of things the people I work with are all very nice. I think my favorite part of the job so far though is that I've been told at least twenty times that I have an amazing phone voice and perfect diction. Yeah me!!! Wait, that's not my favorite part of the job, I lied. If I'm being completely honest I'd probably admit that my favorite part of the job is be the real life paycheck - as opposed to that thing I used to get from the diner that was masquerading as a paycheck.
I paid off two debts on Thursday night. I'm on a mission. I'm getting OUT of debt!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Time flies...

Even when not having fun. I can't believe it's been four weeks today. I woke up pissed off. I went to work and fought tears all day.
My dad has been working on our house... well he has been, but now I'm thinking we've just hit another snag. Last night my parents got a call that their house on the mountain (which is their primary residence) had been flooded with water from a broken pipe for about a week. They haven't been home in that time because my dad has been working so hard at trying to get things moving at our property, so they've been staying down there in the trailer.
The house is old. The floors are all wood. Well, now they're all buckled, waterlogged wood. Just another project for my dad to work on, with all the time he doesn't have.
You know what's funny? For a lot of people their house flooding, tools and workshop being destroyed, and a ton of other damage, would be considered a big deal. In my family... it doesn't even make the list of the top ten worst things that have happened in the last two years.
Someone spoke to me today the time tested words of wisdom "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." You know what I think? I think I'd like God to stop trusting my family so darned much! I'd love for us all to have a year of the easy life... Anyone know where God keeps the sign up forms for winning the lottery? At very least I think we should get to opt out on the next round of crap.

Friday, August 1, 2008

I'm EXHAUSTED!

My night owl tendencies do not mix well with a 6:15 a.m. wake up call. I've even been going to bed "early." Well, at least earlier. I haven't made it to midnight all week. To be honest though I really need about two more hours a night than I'm getting. I'm trying to get to bed early, I really am, but it's tough to switch from working till 11:30 p.m. one week to working at the crack of dawn the next. I'm sure it'll all even out soon enough.
Then there is the matter of my kids. They are beyond tired but they miss me. They refuse to go to sleep. They've been in bed for a good hour and a half and the younger two are tired to the point of uncontrollable crying and yet... they are awake.
I'm not a nice mommy tonight. I want a quiet house. I want to go to sleep. I haven't gotten anything done that I want and need to get done. In all likelihood I'll probably fall asleep while on the phone trying to have a conversation with Brian once the kids crash.
Oh, that and the dog won't stop barking!
On a positive note... I LOVE my new job. I enjoy the people and I'm really looking forward to learning everything that they need me to know. There have been several comments about how happy they are to have me. Specifically it has been mentioned that people have made a point of telling my boss know what a good job I'm doing. To tell you the truth that feels really nice!
Once I get this internal clock thing worked out, and the kids are acclimated to this new life, it will all be a lot smoother!