Thursday, April 10, 2008


Today was the kids regular Thursday visit with their dad. Which means it's my regular lunch date with Brian. Mind you they have absolutely no concept of that. I have NEVER mentioned seeing Brian. Aside from the fact that they know he is a friend of a friend who they have met (now twice) for a friendly game of basketball they have heard almost nothing about him. After they get home today Ella comes in and says "Where did you go when we were with dad today?" so I answered, honestly even if not completely, "Target, why?" So she tells me "Daddy said you were with Brian." I sidestepped the question and said "I wonder why he would say that. He didn't ask where I was going and I didn't tell him so he really didn't know where I was."
That was enough to satisfy both Isaiah and Ella. Then I texted Drew to ask what he told them about where I was today. He immediately got defensive back with me and said that "our son" told him I was "spending a lot of time with my friend Brian lately." So of course I KNOW that he's lying to me because the kids don't know I have spent any time with Brian. As far as they know I only really know Brian through my friend Kesha. Then he goes off on a diatribe about how he doesn't care what I do "in my personal life." So I told him I don't care if he cares what I do, but he needs to not talk to the kids about things that they don't need to know... especially when those things are none of his business AND are things that he doesn't really know anything about. Then again they don't need to see their dad cuss, smoke and drink either but that doesn't mean anything to him.
I knew he was going to pull a stunt like this soon because he made me aware that he had seen my myspace page. I knew that was his way of putting me on notice that he knew I was seeing someone. I also knew it meant he would use that information to his benefit at his earliest convenience.
Initially I tried to figure out why he would lie about telling them what he did and then it occurred to me... he lied about everything when he was married to me, why on earth would I expect him to stop lying now?
I'm pretty sure he thinks that if the kids know I'm dating it will make him feel like he's not doing anything wrong anymore... sure would be nice if he was more concerned with the kids well being than his own guilty conscience at this point. Then again, he has demonstrated time and again that his own desires and needs are far more important to him than the kids hearts.


heather said...

Don't you think maybe he could be reading your blog? And so could your potential employers? When you google your name its the first thing that comes up.

Elissa said...

Sure he could...and probably is, but that doesn't mean it's in the best interest of the kids for him to talk about it with them.
I've seriously thought about removing some posts and editing myself as a result.
As for potential employers I'm not as worried. I'm sure they'll find it if they look but I really don't think anything contained in my blogs would be an issue to an employer.