Thursday, December 13, 2007
I realized somthing
I have had some really cool conversations with people lately. On more than one occasion I have been told how much happier I look and seem post divorce. How even though I have gone through a lot and sometimes still struggle with things I seem content. I sometimes think that is because I choose to be content. Other times I am reminded of how hard my life was before and it seems I couldn't help but be happier now. All in all I am doing well. There are still days when I'm overwhelmed with being a single mom of four. But I wouldn't trade it either. The other day though I was talking with friends about what I think I still need to heal from. It was odd because I think these questions always come up exactly when I'm ready to answer them. Over the last several weeks I have noticed that it deeply effects me to see a dad who really engages his kids. Who obviously knows HOW to love them well. That is such a hard thing for me to watch. I am so happy for those children who have fathers like that but it is a painful reminder of the fact that mine do not... and it really sucks!