Friday, November 16, 2007

I am SOOOO ANGRY!!!!!

I have spent the last 5 minutes spewing things out of my mouth that would embarrass a hardened sailor. I am angry beyond all decent language. How hard is it really to support your four kids? He left and is living whatever life he has chosen for himself and as far as I'm concerned good riddance but seriously, I have to pay the bills so your kids still have a roof over their head, water and electricity...not to mention car insurance and all the things that a responsible parent should pay for. I am not working yet because if I do it will screw him in terms of taxes...but he has no problem screwing me out of support that he is supposed to pay! Here is the best part...last month he didn't pay all of the support he owed me and we got into it over that, so he knows how big of a deal that was...and he had the audacity to tell me today that he thought not giving me support wasn't that big of a deal. Are you FREAKING kidding me??? I'm supposed to have a little birthday party for Isaiah tomorrow... nothing big and I didn't really even invite anyone, other than his two best buddies, because I knew I'd have no money but I figured at least I could buy pizza or something for him and a few of his friends. I've been waiting on the support to buy drinks and some basic things for tomorrow (on top of the obvious bill to be paid) and it should have been here yesterday. I didn't push that because I knew he was going to see the kids today so I figured he'd bring it when he picked them up but now...here I sit.
This is the crap that makes me tired of doing the right things! I am a pissed off momma right now and it would have been so much easier to scream profanity to his face and beat the living stuff out of him than to react calmly in the presence of my kids and him. All of the venom that spewed from the overflow of my soul happened after they left...is that still a victory of some sort? That at least I didn't act like the raving lunatic that I wanted to be in front of my kids?
I don't know but I must say the day is coming very soon when I will be able to have his wages garnished...and you best believe that when that day comes, it will be done...and fast! How did I stay married to (and have four kids with) a complete and total idiot for 11 years? I thought at one point it might be because I'm a saint...but I'm pretty sure now it was sheer stupidity.
UGH...so he just called and "miraculously" found his checkbook. So he says he's bringing me a check, not that I am convinced there is money in his account to cover it. I'll be heading to his credit union with that check as soon as it arrives. Here's hoping I get what I'm supposed to.

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