Monday, October 15, 2007
I can't even begin to blog about this stuff
I'm stuck in my head today...I can't begin to blog about it so I'm not going to try really. Except to say that I'm frustrated. Frustrated with myself mainly, but also with circumstances, and to be painfully honest I think for the first time in a long time I am frustrated with God. There's no fixing it. It just is. So I'm sitting in it today. It's not a restful place to be but I know I can't rush through it. I can't get beyond it so I'll just have to wait it out. There are answers that don't come...and when they do I don't really like what they are, or I don't think I'm strong enough to follow through. What am I supposed to do with this? I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. I talked to a friend today...she said "Elissa, I'm so glad you're not God...because you aren't allowing for grace" ouch, but when is it grace and when is it justifying sin? I'm feeling stuck - I'd like it to pass...and I'm sure at some point it will.