I have this friend who always asks for my advice, presumably because she respects my opinion. Here's the thing...I often tell her how wrong she is for being so self centered, that she doesn't consider another's viewpoint when she judges a situation, or that her choices are not God's best for her. I'm hard on her, but only because I love her. Here is the part that gets to me...she calls for my advice, and then, rarely (if ever) actually follows any of it. I can't figure it out. It isn't as if I'm stroking her ego when she calls so she obviously isn't calling to hear how perfectly wonderful she is. She doesn't talk to me like she is just informing me of something. She calls specifically for advice, or to get my opinion. Why would you continue to seek advice from someone who's advice you never take? Why would you continue to seek straight talk that often isn't flattering to you if you don't value the opinion? I am just so perplexed by the whole thing. I think if I were calling someone for advice and I never valued their position enough to actually follow it and if, on top of that, they were hard on me for many of the choices I make in life, I would probably stop calling. I'm glad she doesn't. I hope someday something I say will make a difference in how she sees the world.
The last conversation I had with her was about how she cut off this guy from her life because he didn't want to talk to her on the phone - he preferred to text that day instead. She was beyond irritated that he didn't care that she couldn't text at that moment (she was driving - at least she realized that would be a bad idea!). She then tells me he didn't feel like talking because he had just been in an interview for four hours. Ok, after a four hour interview I wouldn't talk to her either...guess it's good she didn't call me after a four hour interview - cuz I'd be cut off now too. She went on and on about how self centered he was for not caring about her enough to talk to her when she needed him to. I asked how self centered she was for not caring that he was all talked out and was too tired to talk. I asked her if she would rather someone feign interest while totally ignoring her or honestly tell her that they were too overwhelmed for a meaningful chat. Apparently her answer is clear as she took his number out of her phone!!! I guess I know what I'll do the next time she calls and I'm overwhelmed with my life...that conversation will look like this from my end: "hi" "uh-huh" "yeah" "sure" (repeat) oh, wait but I already said "hi" so skip that in the repeat!
Is it just me or is the whole thing beyond ridiculous? I just hope I'm a good enough friend to the people I care about that none of them ever feel like they can't tell me they're having a bad day and don't feel like talking!
Since I'm blogging about friends I have one that deserves a mention (even if not by name). How cute is this: I have a friend who's family lives out of the area. Her parents are coming to visit and bringing her grandma from Texas to visit her in Riverside. She calls me this morning and asks if I might be available to come (with my kids of course) and meet her granny. I don't know about you but there aren't many people I know who would call me up and ask me to plan a special visit so I could meet their grandma! I thought it was cool. I love my friends - the "come meet my grandma" ones and the "I want your advice so I can promptly ignore it" ones and all those in between! Isn't that variety what makes it all interesting? Ok or maybe I just get a kick out of watching how people tick!